Patrick Gage Kelley

License Plate Thief


Posted Oct 24, 03:15 AM in , by Patrick Gage Kelley, received 3 comments, comments closed.

When I got home today, Nora told me that her license plate had been stolen sometime overnight, and she had been on the phone with the police all day reporting it. Though they didn’t think it was for criminal purposes, just kids stealing stuff, as hers was odd, being an Arizona license plate in Pennsylvania.

And this was strange (who steals license plates?) but it didn’t matter. Then when I was walking back from Coffee Tree Roasters this evening, just like a three minute walk from there back to the apartment, as I cross Maryland Ave. There is tan-ish car double parked in the road, and there is this guy fiddling with the car behind it’s license plate, like he is looking at it intently.

And I realize he has a screwdriver in his hand, and he is unscrewing a Texas license plate on the back of this little blue car. And I just stop in the middle of the road, and look at him, and as soon as he sees I have stopped he runs back to his car, which is on with the door open, and drives away.

At which point I am stunned and not sure what to do, I didn’t get the license of the car he was driving (though if I were a plate thief, when I was doing my thievery I would certainly not use my own plate during those times, I would use one of my spares), and I can’t really call the police and be like, sketchy guy, drove away, because what are they going to do.

Not to mention this guy was older, like 35-40, balding a little maybe, with a short haircut, tan jacket, slightly over-weight, maybe 5’11” and 180lbs. so I can’t just stop him.

So I get back to my apartment (another like sixty feet) and am all, “Nora, Nora! Sketchy guy!” At which we decide to venture back out and down to the corner, to see if he has come back for his prize. When we went down and inspected there was only one remaining screw left in the Texas-plate-car’s attachment bracket thing. So he almost got it!

There is no doubt in my mind that it will be gone tonight, or at least tomorrow night. Though I don’t know what kind of thief steal things at ten to midnight, I mean, it is a populated area, a two minute walk to a Banana Republic, and with three coffee shops nearby, there are bound to be people wandering.