We have recently updated the Dossier website with our two latest issues (Spring & Fall 2007, since we switched over to magazine format), so you can go download and read them. Those are the two issues that I led (along with much help from Kristen, Ceci, and staff), but with GSA stuff now as my focus, we have a new staff taking over, and I will only be helping them out – like making the above site design – feedback, love, hate?

Submissions close February 29th, 2008.

It has always bothered(?) me that revolution, which means:

1. The overthrow of one government and its replacement with another.
2. A sudden or momentous change in a situation: the revolution in computer technology.

Often first (in dictionaries – possibly translated into our minds) means:

1. Orbital motion about a point, especially as distinguished from axial rotation: the planetary revolution about the sun. – A turning or rotational motion about an axis. – A single complete cycle of such orbital or axial motion.

So, we have these sudden and important changes in technology, culture, and our lives, but we use the same word to mean things that happen and over and over again.

Now I know we can talk about how words have different meanings in different circumstances and also about where these things come from. But I want to concentrate on the results. We hear “Revolution” and think “Change!” But we know that it is not just a change, we know it is just another day. We know it is just one more step on a very long walk.

Notice above the new camera.

Notice above, yet below the camera, that I am waxing.
(this is foreshadowing, darling)

::

in this darkness
there is only blaring noise
and nowhere to hide

your land is captured
and you are blind to escape
there is now only waiting

::

Finished everything I need to do.

Look for something new, tomorrow.

Have a wonderful experience being shot by arrows.

There was a beautiful young girl who became pregnant out of wedlock, and told her angry parents that the father was an old and revered Zen master with a reputation for living a pure life. When the angry parents accused the Master, all he said was, “Is that so?” After the child was born, the Master brought the baby into his house and raised it as his own. After a year passed, teh girl, stricken with remorse, finally recanted and told her parents that the Master was entirely innocent. The embarassed parns came to fetch the child, apologizing to the Master and begging his forgiveness. All he said was: “Is that so?”

That is what my Zen Calendar had to say about Valentine’s Day. I have no idea what lesson I should take for this. Matt suggested patience and forgiveness. Avery suggested that people of power should not use it to get into girl’s pants. I believe the only real lesson here is that Zen Master’s are oblivious to reality and thus not good baby-sitters (poor kid).

Oh, and those random girls that I don’t know, wish you a Happy Valetine’s Day

::

A sexual consciousness is what makes you a master of the travelled paths.

(They want their skin against your body, and you could go for days without) It is a game, you play it because their attention is yours. (They love you)

With every movement you are defining a perfect motion.

Your muscles contour your skin or the cloth of your shirt, depending on where they stare. You are an actor, defining beauty. And your eyes see through the hollow vessels.

::

With Friday’s return it is back to Ram’s Head Tavern (above) (probably, if I go, which I will (that is some thought process … and nested parenthesis.)), because that is what happens after work on Fridays. It will be lovely and glorious and maybe I will take better pictures than last week.

::

You tell me I am making decision but I respond that I am merely playing out this part. You have turned me into an actor. The character in the novel who plays his part with perfect predictability. Even if I tell myself things have changed, I am still myself, and you know what you are dealing with.

I see the masks I have placed delicately on. I told them I cared, but I can’t, I am just making progress before my next step. I do not understand the motives behind stopping. I have never fathomed standing still, letting your shadow rot in one place on the sidewalk, spilling onto the grass. I will not be a column protecting my shadow from the sun.

The ground where he lays will burn, I won’t stop moving. I will smile and pause when you occasionally turn to look at me, but I am still running towards you at full speed.

::

And there is writing

This is a word which means readied for publication or drawn up.

I am not there yet. I am quite a few stages before that, at the point where I have not been writing and I feel like the words are ready to tear out of my body.

But the words, while they may have a spirited conviction, are lacking a logical determination.

The twisting plot, the staring eyes of the protagonist, the sharp hair of the antagonist. I do not yet know if the skies are cloudy or clear, or if there is a thick fog covering the air.

But I do have dreams.

Dreams of a garden near mountains, where a girl, dressed in crimson sits on a bench. She is waiting.

Dreams of a man laying on a warm wooden floor, in a dark, mostly empty room. There is a fire burning. The furniture is a single sofa, creme-coloured with fabric stripes. He is waiting.

Dreams of a passage, a journey of youth, an escape from blades.

I can frame pictures, but not yet these stories.

And then there are the unique crystals of snow, bridges of threads, all the necessary weight that sums to created works. What is missing, is the loom, to weave this all together.

I am really tired and I am going to sleep for a huge percentage of the next 72 hours. Since Monday is a holiday. Yes, that most certainly is the plan.

These are trees outside windows.

Sometimes I should spend more time with them.

::

i was looking at the table
    empty save a glass of water
        and my papers and my hands
and i thought: i have no control
    my hands are automatic
but the papers and the table and the glass 
    are holding this world together

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